…first I bring you labels! I’ve been going through pricing for some custom invitations (which I’ve already half named the Faith Hill/Tim McGraw invitation suite in my head- I don’t know why- it just jumped out at me) and it’s $50 for a big old box of regular envelopes. The cheapest I can get them printed is $235 for 500 envelopes. Now, granted, if you’re smart with what address you use you can use them for shower invitations, wedding invitations, thank you cards and whatever else you want but you’re sitting on a lot of A7 envelopes with your name on them if the others come with their own envelopes.

But really who wants to spend another $235 when you’re still going to need someone to address the “to” section later on anyway! Not I, Brown Cow. So that’s why when I did my invitations and then later sent out moving cards — WAIT HOLD THE EFFIN’ PHONE. How are my invitations (which later became the Elizabeth and Darcy invitations) not featured on ye olde blog? WTF, mate? These are the times I wish I had an underling to yell at instead of berating myself. We shall remedy that quickly, my dears. The posting of the Elizabeth and Darcy, that is. Not the underling, unfortunately. Anyway, where was I? Ah. Labels.

Those are a little beat up since they were the two that were returned when we flubbed the addresses but you get the idea. I super love the moving card label (left) for the Monopoly moving card (which is also for sale, so you too can have your very own!! In your very favorite monopoly block color– I went with Illinois/Kentucky/Indiana red but it was a close call over PA/NC/Pacific Ave Green). We have a list of addresses (now corrected) which we use whenever we need to send out a mass mailing. Xmas cards, invitations- whatever, it’s great.

Secondly I’ll jump ahead and show my effin’ invitations! (Shaking fist at mystified husband and dog). Ta-da. These are/were my invitations. The map is the unfolded inside of the written directions (which are below the map). I used labels again on the reply envelope (top right). The whole kit and caboodle went into the pocket of the Envelopement which I loved. The design on the back was someone I scribbled down on the metro and spent foreeeeever refining. The back has our first initials in what looks like a swirly pattern but the swirly pattern is actually “Cox” (my married name) in a funky cursive. No one really picked up on it which I actually like more because it was my little secret personal bit that I had added.

The essentials are all there for the Elizabeth and Darcy suite, as you can see, to the left, where the invitation is chillaxin’ in my mint plant. The rest of the pieces can be found in my Etsy store along with a series of invitations in different colors to give you a better idea of what the invitation would look like in your wedding colors.

Don’t worry, no swirling letters with my last name on the back.

Speaking of etsy, the next item to be cleared on my desktop (since it will be saved here for posterity) is the most awesome shirt ever. I came across this when I was searching for something to wear to my friend’s 30th bday party but times as they are (combined with the fact I’m a tight wad) I just couldn’t justify $60 and then another $10 for shipping. Grrr. I really want it though. I don’t want this to be another “Sgt. Pepper inspired t-shirt that they no longer make for women and I should have just bought it when I saw it online 2 years ago thing!!!! @#$%$#^!!!!” I’m slightly bitter.

Don’t you love it? AHHHH I LOVE IT. This will be a present to myself. I’m now not sure I want to tell you about because you could take mine. Le sigh. I’ll be nice. It’s from Les Enfants Sauvages, which is an awesome store name for awesome things. It comes in several colors and is made of “indian cotton veil” which I have no idea what that is but it sounds very soft. The proprietor will be at the Renegade Craft Sale in Brooklyn this weekend if you’re in the area. Damn it! I was just in Brooklyn too.

The tear drop cut outs go around the back as well and it’s got a tie of some sorts so you can pull it in at the waist just like Stacy and Clinton would want me to! Waahhh!
[Photo by LesEnfantSauvages]

Lastly I’ll just throw some pretty pictures your way. The first was from Antler magazine which is an online mag that I read the first issue but wasn’t really loving it except this photo. I have written down “Antler-Ozemhaluk” as the title of the image. I’m hoping that “Ozemhaluk” is some sort of photo credit to give credit where it’s due.

The next photo (of the bride) was found on my search for wedding magazines around the world. It was on the home page of an Aussie magazine but I was never able to find the wedding that went with it (much to my dismay) but I liked the photo so much I thought I’d keep it around.

I tried to look it up from the photographer but I couldn’t find it on his website and I’m beginning to believe that it’s more of an editorial shot than a shot from a real live wedding ceremony

Touché, internet, touché.
[Photo by George Fetting]

Super lastly, we have something I was looking through today via Not Martha: Niki-lynn’s photo stream on flickr. I was really blown away and then she had a birthday celebration photo and she’s FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. If this turns out to be some sort of LonelyGrl whatever marketing bit- I’m revolting.

Ahhh clean desktop. Now I shall go finally work on my website after many months! Woo-hoo!
[Photo by niki-lynn]

But kind of like Jack the Pumpkin King (ooh hold please- I’ve said the magic words- need to put on “Miss You” by Blink-182) my first attempt to bring craftiness to the every day went a little awry. I blame Daniel Silva (I just finished Moscow Rules) and an overactive imagination. So here’s the set up: my Mom and I went out to eat when I was in my home town for a bit to this restaurant that has been around forever but I knew about in a general way but never went to. It was fabulous- they had a cheese platter and a good wine selection. Cheese is paramount to my friends and I (remind me to tell you about the cheese plate competition that happened a couple of months ago). I decided that next time my 2 good friends and I are in town, we would all go and have fun. The problem was that they both live in NYC and therefore catch rides home with each other sometimes. If I TOLD them what restaurant I was talking about they’d go without me out of desperation for something new around the homestead. So instead I have told them that such a place exists but refuse to mention its name. This prompted one friend to search online for an extended period of time but my secret is still safe. Oh- I should mention- this started roughly 8 months ago and the first time we’ll all be home again is– ding ding ding! THANKSGIVING! Enter craftiness. I wanted to send them a lovely invitation inviting them to our much awaited outing but after having read Moscow Rules all I could think of was inviting them to be abducted from their homes KGB-style. And I only had my husband’s crappy black and white printer with gross college stains still on it to print it on since I need a bit of a break from Kinko’s.

So this is what was sent to my friends on friday morning:

How do you invite someone somewhere without telling them where? Translate it to Russian! Bitchin’ right? The top name has been changed to one of my friend’s Secret Agent Name for her protection. The strange black holes are me replicating in photoshop where holes were punched out. Unfortunately when I started this process I thought I owned a hole punch. No such luck so I had to do my best at cutting circles with a box cutter. Hint- if you ever need to cut circle with a knife, carving pumpkins, sending russian secret invitations to your friends, etc- it’s best to cut an octagon then go at it in a circular fashion, where you’ll probably go wonky and end up with a misshapen oval.

You may be thinking “Hm why did you old timey army black out the place if your friends don’t speak, read or write Russian or anything close?” I’m glad you asked! Because one of them SOMEHOW translated it. I figured I’d be safe since it wasn’t online or anything so they couldn’t copy and paste back and forth in using a handy tool like this: http://translation2.paralink.com/. But I had a nagging suspicion that these girls are as devious as I am and thankfully covered my bases. Muhahahahahaha!

So it’s not exactly pretty and flowery and wedding-like but it was fun to see how you parse down the information for an invitation (time, date, place and who it’s from so they don’t call the police or anything). I almost included an “I’ll pick you up then” but whatever- it was funnier this way.br /br /Now it’s onto Holiday Cards! Excuse me while I vomit slightly but I’ve been also working on corporate holiday cards which is like being in the 5th ring of Hell because they want to be holiday-ish but not offend anyone in the galaxy and it needs to go through 238907 layers of beaurocracy before a decision is made. I need a couple of weeks away from that or my Christmas will resemble live action someecards.com, although- how awesome would that be? Right now I’m leaning towards and updated American Gothic but I fear it’s too… silly? obvious? done?

Which reminds me- did I ever post my moving card here? I fear not. It’s on the main website (which is due for a redesign any day now so for any TFMD version 2 lovers- get your fix now!) but I’ll post here as well:

We had our real info (obviously) and some fun bits about the house underneath that I just reverted to actual Monopoly card stuff for the dummy version. And speaking of monopoly, wanna waste some time: http://www.mentalfloss.com/quiz/quiz.php?q=486